I grew up in the 70's Charismatic movement in Northern Illinois. I was 13 at the time. We did not go to "church". Instead we had "prayer meetings" every Friday nite at someones house or in the basement of a large Catholic church. The leadership consisted of 12 group leaders who would sit in front and face everyone. We would sing all the cool church songs from the 70's & read the bible. The service would always lead to everything from speaking in tongues, laying on of hands, personal prophesies, visions, people being "slain in the spirit", etc. Pretty weird stuff for a teenager to experience.
As the years progressed, the "group" leaders decided that we must all live closer to each other. My parents moved down the street from the main "leaders". The "leaders" started to get more controlling. We had to pray each day and ask the Lord what we should to that day, make out a "schedule" & back everything up with scripture. Before we could do this schedule, we had to be "clean". That meant that we had to remove the "demons" that controlled us. This was done by rebuking them & the blowing them out of our bodies. Yes I know that was freaky but it's the truth. Once the demons were "confirmed" loosed from our bodies, I could then submit my schedule to my parents & the leaders. This was an everyday thing. They in turn would pray about it & ask God if this was from Him. This was called "confirming". If the leadership had a personal prophesy for you, they would require you to pray about it even before you read it or heard it from them. It would be used to expose your weaknesses or to point out your"problems".
By this time I was a senior in High school. This process got worse. It was to the point that I had to pray about everything, from going to a movie to playing outside. If my parents or the leadership prayed and got a "different" answer from God then I was not allowed to do it. Needless to say, I faked most of it and the leadership never knew. I know this sounds so much like a cult and to today's standard, it probably was. At that time it was all we knew.
Fast forward to today. I still belong to a semi-Charismatic church. The control is not the same. The "gifts" are still present but not as overwhelming. The songs are different. I would say that the manipulation is more subtle. Most of that is done thru the music.
UPDATE:
I have recently decided to stop attending church. This decision was the best decision I have ever made. My advice to anyone who reads this is do NOT be blinded by your church or pastor. Seek the truth. Read your bible & be skeptical of it's claims and question everything it contains. After all, it is your life.
