1.- God just exists – forever, for no reason.
2.- God decides to create stuff after existing literally forever.
3.- God touches off the Big Bang, does nothing for 10 billion years.
4.- God creates Earth; again does nothing for 4 billion years.
5.- God creates dinosaurs…
6.- God kills dinosaurs.
7.- God creates mankind, in “his image”.
8.- God banishes his creation from paradise for eating a forbidden fruit
9.- God kills all animals & humans in a worldwide flood. Saves the 500 year old boat builder & family. Keeps 2 of every animal 'kind' on boat
10.- God meddles wildly in the affairs of humans in a small part of the entire Earth for about 1500 years, including giving one tribal society rules to live by and helping them to defeat their enemies.
11.- God later comes back to earth in human form to preach for 33 years before dying a bloody death meant to serve as atonement for the flaws inherent in all humans (which he created).
12.- God ceases all manifestation and direct contact with humanity for the next 2000 years, leaving us with only an arbitrarily cobbled-together collection of metaphorical and contradictory revelations as our instructions for achieving eternal bliss.